THE DISSIDENTS - 28
听译 时间轴 Whalesong 校对 emfrosztovis
You looked how little I've been able to do so far.
你看着我迄今为止如何一事无成
I tried to make contact with other groups.
我试着与其他群体建立联系
What have I tried?
但我真的做了什么努力吗？
Nothing.
什么都没有
在乡村
We've moved around so much.
我们搬了这么多次家
Rented rooms. Other people's furniture, wallpaper.
别人的房子 别人的家具 别人的壁纸
I always have to apologize for not being mine.
我总要为它们不属于自己而道歉
They've been here a long time now.
他们已经在这很久了
They seem to play it living in someone else's house.
像是装作住在别人的房子里一样
It was a place to hide out.
这是个避世之地
I'm scared.
我很害怕
We make everything so ugly.
我们把一切都弄得那么丑陋
Old people's house.
老人的住宅
Makes me old. I can feel it seeping into me.
让我也衰老 我能感觉它渗透进身体
Drifting, suffocating.
流离失所 令人窒息
I have to keep to myself.
我只能独自承受
I have to be patient with myself.
我必须对自己有耐心
I can't be touched.
我不能被触碰
We stay on safe ground.
我们待在安全地带
What are the chances of getting things out into the open?
又有多少坦白的机会？
She doesn't listen. Should she?
她什么都不听 她应该听吗？
I guard myself as well as I can,
我尽我所能自我防卫
like an old boxer.
像个老拳击手
Everything here chokes me.
这里的一切都让我窒息
We begin and then we back away.
我们进一步又退两步
I protect myself.
我自我保护
I was safer when he had his own things to do.
他有自己的事要做的时候 我感觉更安全
What about Toler?
那托勒呢？
What does she want?
她想要什么？
What do I want?
我想要什么？
I can read or go for walks.
我可以看看书或者散散步
Alone, I can do anything.
独自一人的话 我什么都能做
Everything.
任何事
Openness, tenderness,
坦诚 温柔
her willingness, love,
她的心甘情愿 爱
not turning away from me.
不离不弃
Possibilities.
可能性
What do I want?
我想要什么？
Why ask me that now?
为什么现在来问我？
I knew him.
我了解他
At least in the way I know people functionally to work with.
至少在作为工作伙伴的意义上了解他
Imagine this man,
想象一下这个人
given all he knows, was capable of hope.
他知道这一切 却还是有着希望
Of course I could always get out.
当然我可以随时脱身
But then, they can't get away but I can.
然而他们逃不掉 我却可以
That's an impossible barrier.
这是一个不可逾越的障碍
I could always slip back into my society,
我随时可以缩回到我的圈子里
come here,
回到这
start a career.
找份工作
I could always find one of those little
我总能找到那些
crevices where there's breathing space.
可以用来喘息的裂缝
It was hot and sticky.
天气又热又潮
During the day, the cars were so hot
白天的时候 车被晒得很热
you couldn't lean against them.
你都没法靠在上面
It was too hot to sleep.
天热得睡不着
Everybody sat out on the porches at night。
晚上 所有人都坐在外面的走廊里
Groups gathered around the bars.
各种团体聚集在酒吧附近
There were hours of endless discussions.
没完没了的讨论
All-night meetings.
彻夜开会
And Toler used to come with news of support
托勒会带来支援的消息
what was happening in California or Mississippi.
告诉我们加利福尼亚或者密西西比正在发生什么
But then we expected to…
但那时我们期待着……
We didn't expect anything.
那时我们什么也没有期待
We felt,
但我们感到
even when we knew how irrelevant it was,
即便我们知道这是多么的微不足道
we felt the presence of revolution.
我们感知到了革命的存在
Each group attracted more people.
每个团体都吸收了更多的人
Police were everywhere.
到处都是警察
I could feel it in the air late at night.
我能感觉到他们藏在深夜的空气中
It was a kind of lightning movement,
这是一种闪电战术
a seed that clotted everyone.
一粒让每个人团结起来的种子
Everywhere you looked there was a chance.
你看到的每一个地方都是机遇
Clear ground and bust into them.
清除障碍 直捣敌营
All the groups attracted more people.
所有团体都吸收了更多的人
We felt what it was like to finally have real power.
我们终于感受到手握真正权力的滋味
Power.
权力
Tangible. A begin.
如此具体 这还只是开始
In an extraordinary way,
以一种前所未有的方式
People began to demand all the things that always seemed
人们开始索取所有那些在以前
too far away to even think about:
想象起来都太遥不可及的事物
a job,
一份工作
a house,
一栋房子
a car.
一辆车
There are men using power,
他们在使用自己的权力
and beyond this.
而这还不是全部
This was a force that changed my life too.
这种力量也改变了我的生活
The base for a movement that could include me!
这是一场运动的基石 而我也能参与其中！
At least I trusted what you said you wanted.
至少我那时相信你说你想要的东西
And what did I say?
那时我说了什么？
The same things you say now.
跟你现在说的一样
Your way of talking certainly hasn't changed.
你说话的方式显然完全没变
That's too easy.
这么说太草率了
What did I want then, Tommie?
我那时想要什么 汤米？
Why should I bother?
我凭什么要在乎？
Whatever I say, you just twist it around
无论我说什么 你都只是扭曲它
and get what you want out of it.
然后从中得出你想要的东西
That's too easy.
这么说太草率了
Well, your whole way of going about things is certainly different.
好吧 你的一整套处事方法的确跟以前不一样了
You have this look of knowing you're gonna fail.
你有了一副好像确信自己会失败的面孔
There's fear all around it.
充满了恐惧
Ten years from now all the edge will be gone
等再过十年 棱角就都被磨平了
Your face says…
你的脸在说着…
That's fine
够了
It's peculiar how you picked up all of Toler's ideas about me.
真奇怪 你为什么要把托勒对我的评价照单全收
You'll even use the same words.
你甚至用的是一样的字眼
Oh?
是吗？
Oh?
是吗？
I hate the rain
我讨厌下雨
Why is that?
为什么？
Because it makes me feel restless.
那让我烦躁不安
Did you read about Toler?
你读到托勒的事了吗？
You mean this?
你说这个？
Yeah.
是的
The speech in front of the House Committee?
这个在众议院前面发表的演讲？
Will they put him in jail for not going to Vietnam?
他们会因为他不愿去越南就把他关起来吗？
How the hell should I know what they're going to do?
我他妈怎么知道他们会怎么做？
Maybe they'll put him away.
也许会把他关起来
But they don't have to.
但是他们没必要这么做
They just absorb people like Toler.
他们会直接同化托勒那样的人
Will you go ahead with the demonstration today?
你今天会继续进行游行示威吗？
You know as much about it as I do.
你和我一样清楚
I don't get it.
我不明白
I thought Toler was your friend.
我以为托勒是你的朋友
Well, he is.
他是啊
I just don't know what he's doing now.
我只是不知道他现在在做什么
I see.
我明白了
Do you?
真的吗？
I see that you don't see any of them anymore.
我明白 你不再去见他们中的任何一个了
Unless it's that they've cut you off.
否则就是他们主动和你断绝来往
Did Toler say that?
是托勒这么说的吗？
What do you want me to say?
你想让我说什么？
That I don't have anything to talk to them about anymore?
说我跟他们之间已经没什么话好说了？
That I've gone away?
说我已经离开了？
That I've lost interest?
说我已经失去兴趣了？
Is that what you want me to say?
这就是你想让我说的吗？
I don't want you to say anything.
我没让你说这些
Just say what you think is the truth.
我只想你说你看来的事实
If Toler did want me
假如托勒真的想要我
and I went,
然后我去了
You wouldn't even try to stop me, would you?
你甚至都不会试着去阻止我 是吧？
I don't feel like playing now.
我现在没心情玩这个
No, you wouldn't, would you?
不 你不会阻止我 对吧？
I could just go right out the door
我可以直接走出家门
You mean if you wanted to go?
你是说 假如你想走就能走？
Yeah.
是啊
Wanted to.
假如我想走
In that case, what's for me to decide?
如果是这样 我又决定得了什么呢？
You wanting to go defines it, right?
你想去的意愿说明了一切 不是吗？
I only have to decide after
我只需要之后再做决定
whether to leave you.
要不要离开你
Good.
这就好
Or maybe I'd think of killing you.
或许我会想杀了你
Perhaps I'd never find out.
可能我永远都搞不明白了
Airy…
通风的
Openness.
开阔
Being free.
自由自在
I have to write everything down now
我现在得把一切都写下来
Out here it's so open.
外面 一切都如此开阔
No, leave me alone.
不 让我一个人呆着
I don't have to be this way.
我不用非得这样
I can go.
我可以走
Being pulled down, made a fool of…
被拖累 被愚弄
Is it up to me?
这些我能决定吗？
I am what I am.
我就是我
I hate this talk.
我讨厌这种谈话
Because you know why?
你知道为什么吗？
Because it traps you.
因为它把你困住
And there's nothing left for me.
然后就没剩什么留给我了
Always looking at things,
总是盯着什么
watching things,
看着什么
savoring things,
享受着什么
collecting things.
收集着什么
You're always putting up walls I want to get in,
你总是在筑墙 我想进去
always pushing me away.
又总是把我推开
All I want…
我想要的只是……
Play with mine…
玩玩我的
Maybe.
也许吧
Play with yours…
玩玩你的
It's not all.
这不是全部
Acting, pretending.
演戏 假装
Clever kinds of games.
各种精明的游戏
If you can scrape them off,
如果你能透过这些表象
what do you see?
你会看到什么？
Nothing.
虚无
Moist mouth,
湿濡的嘴
craving mouth,
饥渴的嘴
hungry mouths wanting to be satisfied,
饥饿的嘴想被填满
sucking up to anything.
向一切献媚
People wanting to be padded,
人们想变得虚伪
wanting to please.
想去谄媚
You think you mean me?
你是在说我吗？
You.
你
Me.
我
Both.
都是
Everybody.
所有人都是
That's not the truth.
不是这样的
That's just you.
那只是你
Changing things and twisting them
偷换概念 扭曲它们
and backing away from them.
然后逃避
I'll just look at this here
我就这样在这里看着
with all this.
看着这一切
Ripping it up and shredding it up
把它扯烂撕碎
like we wanted to shit on it.
就像我们毫不在意
Like bulging little ticks.
像鼓囊囊的虱子
Like some kind of spiders all wrapped around.
像某种被裹起来的蜘蛛
… should be with ours with this air.
……在这样的空气里应该和我们在一起
Let me touch you, see?
让我摸摸你 你看
When I touch you, it's like magic.
当我触摸你的时候 就像是有魔法
See?
对吧?
You should listen to me.
你应该听我的
I have dreams.
我有梦想
I know.
我知道
See?
是吧？
You know, I was talking about alienation as a mode.
你看 我是在谈论作为风尚的异化
Boredom.
厌倦
Coldness.
冷漠
Passivity.
被动
The kind of burnout energy you get from Antonioni.
那种你从安东尼奥尼那里看到的 精疲力尽的能量
You see, it's become a habit,
你看 它已经成为了一种习惯
an easy way of feeling.
一种感受事物的轻易方式
The fashionable way to put together a work of art.
拼凑出艺术品的一种时髦做法
You really worked out a perfect system
你真的建立了一种完美的
for protecting yourself, haven't you?
自我保护机制 是不是？
Even if it's your own bag,
即使这是你自己的包袱
you put it down just like everybody else.
你也就好像自己是别人一样把它放下了
Right?
不是吗？
Well, it's harder to steer clear of the traps than it is to see them.
怎么说呢 避开陷阱总比辨认它要更难
Some people keep going.
有些人还没放弃
They keep going and they find something new.
他们继续前进 然后有新的收获
All of a sudden, they change.
突然之间 他们就变了
They're even thinking about it,
他们甚至还在这么想
and then began to want something else.
然后就开始追求一些别的东西
What are you getting at?
你是什么意思？
It's too soon to tell.
现在说还太早
Well, there's four buyers
现在有四个买家
interested in the house now.
想要买房子了
Unfortunately, I can only trust one of them.
不过 我只能相信他们其中的一个
This fat ass stockbroker.
一个肥的流油的股票经纪人
They should sell their own damn house.
他们应该自己卖自己的房子
Why are you wasting all your time
你为什么要浪费这么多时间
doing someone else's business?
帮别人做生意？
Because I was fond of them.
因为我喜欢他们
You know, I haven been able to get get a good look at you here
你看 这里我可以好好地看清你
People do that, you know.
有人会做这种事情的
They have enough time,
他们有足够的时间
they sit and look at each other
坐在一起对视
and all of a sudden, zap!
然后突然砰的一声
Well, I never thought we'd sit here
说实话 我从没想过我们会坐在这
and stare at our situation.
审视我们的处境
Another boring, domestic situation.
这种无聊的家庭琐事
You see, it's more than just missing Toler.
你看 这不仅仅是想念托勒
It was like a direct route to get a good performance out of me.
它就像是一条能引出 我内在潜力的路线
I don't mean games,
我说的不是游戏
I mean the real stuff.
是指真正有意义的事
Goods.
好的东西
Have you tried to get away?
你有试过逃走吗？
You serious?
你认真的吗？
Toler won't go to jail.
托勒不会坐牢的
Can you picture him behind bars?
你能想象他被关在监狱里的样子吗？
In a cage?
关在笼子里？
Makes me sad.
让我很难过
I can't ever keep it straight,
我从来都搞不明白
all the world problems
世界上有那么多问题
and then little people just trying to get their lives together.
可是普罗大众只是想要挣扎着活下去罢了
What's the point? It only confuses it.
有什么意义呢？这么想只会糊涂
You know that.
你明白的
Oh, right.
啊对
"It's irrelevant to put it that way."
“那么说是没有意义的”
"Excuse me, I just have to go."
“抱歉我有事得走了”
Well, it is.
是啊 没错
Seems like a whole group of people are splitting apart
看上去一整个群体正在分裂
You'll feel that even if we were all living in a big house together
就算我们一起住在一栋大房子里 你也会这么想的
Perhaps.
也许吧
What do you want from me?
你想从我这得到什么？
Do you want to leave me?
你想离开我吗？
Where would you go?
你会去哪呢？
Maybe you'll change your mind. Who knows?
也许你会改变主意的 谁知道呢？
"Someday you'll meet me again"
“某天你会和我重逢”
"Then I'll run away"
“然后我就会逃走”
"Although you don't want me no more"
“虽然你已不再需要我”
"Oh, well, it's all right"
“啊 这都没关系”
"All right with me"
“这都没关系”
I keep coming up here awful late, don't I?
我总是很晚才上来这 是不是？
You tired?
你累了吗？
Mm-hmm.
嗯
I'm always tired.
我总是很累
I want to go to sleep.
我要去睡觉了
I wanna understand what's happened.
我想知道发生了什么
And then we'll go.
然后我们就离开
I let myself slip into this… this waste so easily.
我太轻易就让自己陷入内耗了
Each night after the news,
每天晚上在新闻节目之后
perhaps.
也许
You know, under the surface,
你看 透过表象
it seems like things are finally beginning to split open.
好像事情终于开始揭开面纱了
Don't worry about it.
别担心这些
Yeah, but riots become ordinary,
是啊 但暴动开始成为日常
the opposition to the war…
而反战……
People simply disengage.
人们只是漠不参与
You can't do anything bad
你不会做什么坏事的
But everything seems to be driving them up against the wall
但是一切似乎都在把人们逼到角落
Like us, just outside.
像我们一样 只是在外面
My head gets filled with all these pictures of the newsreels.
我脑子里满是新闻片里的图像
I cover the war so nicely.
我把战争报道得这么好
I want to make love.
我想做爱
"The woman inside,"
“困在里面的”
"forgotten about,"
“被遗忘的女人”
“Out…"
“呼唤着……”
“Cries out for the touch"
“呼唤着触摸”
“Cries out for physical tenderness"
“呼唤着肢体的温柔”
“Cries out for the softness of lying together"
“呼唤着躺在一起时的柔软”
“Arms together"
“抱在一起的手臂”
"A piece of beef…"
“一块牛肉……”
So you really want to hear?
你是真的想听
You really want to know?
真的想了解吗
Please.
求求你
"Don't be bitter"
“别这么尖酸”
"Don't be harsh"
“别这么刻薄”
"Don't be small"
“别这么小气”
"Don't be angry"
“别这么生气”
"Don't be sad"
“别这么难过”
Please.
求求你了
Stop thinking, stop talking about
别去想 别再说了
let me in such a hateful way…
让我陷入一个如此充满仇恨的境地
‘cause that's the saddest of all.
因为这是最悲哀的事情
"Better to play music"
“最好去听听音乐”
"To take a walk"
“去散步”
“To make bread"
“去做面包”
"or to go to sleep"
“或者去睡觉”
"Anything is better."
“什么都比这更好”
Do you still want to hear more?
你还想听更多吗？
"You leave no room to breathe in,"
“你没有留出呼吸的空间”
"No room for life"
“没有留出生存的空间”
I'm the only one he has power over.
我是他唯一有力量掌控的人
There's not much time.
时间所剩不多了
What?
什么？
I have to make other contacts.
我还得联系其他人
Go on.
我得继续
Why choose this?
为什么选择这样？
How long are you planning on watching this?
你还要看这个看多久？
What are you trying to do?
你准备干嘛？
Get high off it?
看到嗨起来吗？
What do you want?
你到底想要什么？
You're not part of it anymore.
你不再属于它了
You're not part of anything.
不再属于任何东西了
Those dream days
那些梦幻般的日子
when we thought we won't be like anyone else…
我们以为我们不会像别人一样
A new creation,
一种新的造物
ourselves,
我们自己
our own way.
以我们自己的方式
It's a foolish notebook, such a farce.
真是本愚蠢的笔记本 真是场闹剧
What do I have to say?
我有什么非说不可呢？
The gun.
那把枪
Toler.
托勒
Whose child was it in the dream?
梦里的孩子是谁的？
Was it my child?
是我的孩子吗？
Unless you go anywhere, the harder it becomes,
如果你不走 就越来越困难
not wanting to move.
越来越不想动
Where do you want to eat tonight?
你今晚想去哪吃饭？
Don't you want to go?
你不想去吗？
No, not really.
不 不太想
I thought you wanted to see Toler.
我以为你想去看托勒呢
You want to see him, right? Not me.
是你想见他 对吧？不是我
I don't know what you're talking about.
我不知道你在说什么
Anyway, now that we're going,
反正现在我们都到这了
let's just go ahead and go.
我们就直接去吧
What are you doing?
你在干什么？
I don't want to go, all right?
我不想去 行吗？
You go. I'll stay here.
你去吧 我就在这
You want me to go visit Toler？
你是要我去看托勒吗？
I don't care.
我不在乎
I thought you gonna go see Lisa.
我以为你是要去看丽莎
Well, now that you're not coming, I don't know.
那现在你不来了 我也说不准了
Are you afraid to see Toler?
你是害怕去见托勒吗？
No, I don't think so.
不 我不怕
God damn you!
去你妈的！
So what do you do now?
那你现在在做什么？
Not much.
没做什么
That's right, so what?
没错 那又怎样？
So, you happy?
那么 你满意了吗？
Yeah, I'm very happy.
是的 我很满意
You're looking…
你看上去……
You look joyous.
你看着笑容满面的
I went down to Toler's crying little railroad flat.
我去了托勒那个小得可怜的狭窄公寓
Did you have a nice talk?
你们聊得愉快吗？
Oh yeah, well.
是 挺好
At there talk to all the garbage.
他在那对着一堆垃圾说话
What he's gonna do for everybody.
说他要为每个人做什么
I said we should get lead pipes and go over
我说我们应该拿着铅做的管子过去
and punch everybody's head in,
过去把每个人的头都砸烂
that's what I said.
我就是这么说的
Who's everybody?
“每个人”是说谁？
Everybody that you don't like.
每个你讨厌的人
And do you and Toler agree about everyone you don't like?
那你和托勒在讨厌谁上面达成一致了吗？
No, because unfortunately
没有 因为很不幸
he likes different people on the other day.
他每天讨厌不一样的人
Didn't you used to feel that way?
你以前不就是这样吗？
Toler told me you slept with him.
托勒跟我说你和他上床了
Did you believe him?
你相信他说的？
Yeah.
相信
Bless you, Poe.
上帝保佑你 坡
All right.
好的
Ding, Poe's time.
叮 到你了 坡
Set right up for the gallery of horrors!
准备好看看你恐怖的样子吧
Number one, here's you,
第一个 这是你
too young to talk about revolutions.
嘴上没毛还要谈革命的样子
Two, here's you trying to explain.
第二个 这是你努力解释东西的样子
Here's you, bored.
这是你无聊的样子
Weak.
软弱的样子
Very good.
很好
Vicious!
狠毒的样子！
Over.
结束了
Some situations tear at you in every possible way.
有些事情 会从一切方面撕扯你
Others, you can float through them.
其它的 你可以直接从中间飘过去
I could feel myself being dragged past those limitations
我可以感觉自己被逼迫着要跨过这些
that always hold me back from believing.
一直阻挠我去相信的限制
Almost let loose.
几乎要解脱了
Just like they were being freed.
就像这些限制也被解除
Same kind of freedom。
这是同一种自由
We fought in the meetings.
我们在开会的时候争吵
We fought amongst ourselves.
我们互相争斗
We fought inside ourselves.
我们跟自己较劲
How far can I drive myself in this direction?
在这条路上我还能把自己逼多远？
How far this time?
这次能有多远？
Before to keep up with the motion we had started,
在能跟得上我们自己发起的运动之前
seems like…
好像
There was a part of the energy,
能量中有一部分
the fear,
恐惧
seemed to swallow us up,
似乎吞噬了我们
to digest us and spit us out,
把我们吃干抹净 再吐出渣来
to recreate us,
要重塑我们
to make us all over and then,
结束我们 而后
in a new way, a new form,
以新的方式 脱胎换骨的形态
finished with all this,
与这一切已然无关
something final,
成为某种最终的东西
so far beyond what we were capable of alone,
远超出我们作为独立个体的能力
so far beyond this…
远超出
this insulated, frozen place.
这个于世隔绝的冰冷之地
Imagine I could have whatever I wanted
试想如果愿望能够成真
What would it be?
我会想要什么？
I think of only one thing.
我只想到一件事
That whatever it is inside,
我希望 不管有什么样的本质
whatever I wanted to get out,
只要是我想要表达的事物
that quality of feeling,
我都能完整地表达
that I could get it out in one piece,
那种感受的真实质地
that I could get it out without being mannered,
能够不再矫揉造作
that I could get it out without making it a parody of itself.
能够表达 而不是做一个拙劣的戏仿
Yeah, but just saying it that way, that way makes it impossible.
是 但是这么说了就又把它变得不可能了
You want the straight shit, huh?
你就想要直接的 是吧？
Sure.
当然
Wow.
哇哦
Yeah?
是吗？
It's a bitch. It hurts.
它是个婊子 它很伤人
They're trying to chop my balls off.
他们想把我的卵蛋割下来
Yeah?
是吗？
I think too much.
我考虑得太多了
I want what's mine.
我要属于我的东西
Won't be a whole other thing, wouldn't it?
不会是一件完全不相干的事 是吧？
Perhaps let her leave.
也许该让她走
What if she leaves?
她走了会怎么样？
The pieces fly apart.
分崩离析
Vietnam, a liquidated country,
越南 一个被清算的国家
it's simple enough.
就这么简单
Bloated, stupid,
他臃肿 愚蠢
he talks about peace.
他讲着和平
The platitudes are in his blood.
他骨子里都是陈词滥调
Peace?
平静？
Well, it was something I thought about having.
嗯 这是我想要过的东西
I had a child's picture of it.
对它 我有一种孩子般的想象
Sitting with someone I loved,
和我爱的人坐在一起
with candles at dinner,
烛光晚餐
with our baby.
带着我们的孩子
Peace?
平和？
Peace and quiet.
平静安宁
I don't know.
我不知道
I'm capable of it, I suppose, just like everyone else.
我想我有这样的能力 就像其他人一样
Yes, I'm at peace when I'm alone with myself.
是的 当我独处的时候 我能保持平静
Do you want children now?
你现在想要孩子吗？
I think I do.
我想要
You know, it's only a straw to grab at.
你要知道这不是什么救命稻草
I feel so empty inside.
我感觉太空虚了
It's the last thing I can think of wanting.
我根本不想要
Everything's passing us by.
一切都在绕过我们
Don't you see?
你不觉得吗？
Oh, I don't know.
哦 我不知道
I'm getting all dried up, wasted.
我快要干涸了 枯萎了
For what?
为了什么呢?
For nothing.
不为了什么
'Cause… 'cause once we were in love.
因为我们曾经相爱
Memory.
记忆
When you look at me you make me feel stupid.
你看着我的样子让我感觉自己很蠢
No, you make me feel guilty for caring about anything,
不 你让我感觉 我在意任何事情都是有罪的
for not being like you.
和你不一样也是有罪的
I have to save myself.
我必须自救
I have to fight you.
我必须反抗你
I have to use every bit of strength I have.
我必须用尽我所有的力气
I have my life to live.
我有自己的生活要过
Somehow you still see ways of doing all the things everybody's always done.
不知为何 你还能去重蹈所有人的覆辙
Good.
挺好的
Fine.
没问题
But it amazes me.
但是我很惊讶
I put it over here, yeah?
我把它放这行吗？
And I look at it
然后我看着它
and sometimes it moves me very much.
有时它给我很大触动
Because I want to hold on to you,
因为我想紧紧抓住你
to everything you can teach me.
抓住你能教给我的一切
But when you sit up on top like a little queen,
但是当你像个小女王那样居高临下
like a womb, the truth,
像一个子宫 或是真理
judging right and left,
从左到右地挑剔
all the familiar grunts and whines
这些一遍又一遍的嘟囔和哀号
and you wanna step on your head and squash it like a little animal…
你想踩在自己的头上 把它像只小动物一样踩扁
Maybe not right now,
也许不是现在
but…
但是
I think it's a good time to start thinking about it.
我觉得是时候开始好好考虑了
Now?
现在?
I don't see why you've brought up all of a sudden like this.
我不明白你为什么突然就提起这件事
It's obvious, isn't it?
很明显 不是吗？
Obvious?
很明显？
Can you imagine us with a child to worry about too?
你能想象我们多处一个孩子需要操心吗？
It always seems to come down to what I can give you.
好像最后总是归结到我能为你付出什么
I thought it was something you wanted.
我以为这是你想要的
I wanted it at times.
我有时也想要
Last year,
去年
it was all I could think about.
我一整年都在想
And now?
现在呢？
Now,
现在
I think you're just trying to get some kind of stronger foothold.
我觉得你只是想要 更稳固的地位
Give me so much power.
给我这么多权力
Leave everything in my hands.
大事小事都交给我
I don't think you even want a child.
我觉得你根本不想要孩子
You just want me to be the one who says no.
你只是想让我 做那个说不的人
You always sell what you're thinking.
你总是在兜售自己的想法
Do you see what you make me do?
你看到你把我逼成什么样了吗？
Give me that!
把那个给我！
No!
不！
No!
不！
I hadn't planned to be so long but I was watching it…
我没想到会这么长 但我就这么开始看了……
It doesn't matter.
没关系
You don't have to apologize to me.
你不用向我道歉
I just lie up here peacefully.
我只是静静地躺在这里
Doesn't it?
不是吗？
Look.
听着
You can't spend the whole evening
你不能整个晚上都
sitting downstairs watching that machine
坐在楼下 看着那台机器
and all of a sudden taking it to your head
然后突然之间觉得
that you can come upstairs and find me waiting for you,
你一上楼就能看见我等候着你
ready to go.
随时准备好开始
Anyway, I said I was too tired.
总之 我说了我太累了
Tired.
累了
At least you could be honest about it.
你至少可以说点实话吧
If I said, "Let's go to the movies”,
如果我说 我们去看电影
you should be out of bed in a second.
你肯定马上就从床上蹦起来了
Come on.
得了吧
If I said that I'd get some money,
如果我说我会挣点钱
we could move into the city and take a large apartment,
我们可以搬到城里去 住一个大公寓
start making it…
过好日子
You know we won’t.
你知道我们做不到的
Anyway, what just matter to me?
无论如何 对我来说什么才是重要的呢？
Maybe I do want it.
也许我真的想要
Maybe I don’t.
也许我又不想要
With you,
有你
or without you,
或者没你
the present moment...
此时此刻……
It’s unfair, yeah?
这不公平 不是吗
Can you tell me why it's this way?
你能告诉我为什么会这样吗？
Why?
为什么？
I don't like listen to you.
我不想听你说
I don't want to be with you anymore.
我不想再和你在一起了
Why?
为什么？
'Cause you're contemptible.
因为你很卑鄙
Because you always want me to tell you that everything is just fine.
因为你总想让我跟你说 一切都好
Well, try listening to yourself for a change.
你倒是该听听自己是怎么说的
Find out.
搞清楚
Okay.
好吧
We'll be finished here soon.
我们很快就不待在这儿了
And we can go someplace else.
然后我们可以去别的地方
Sure.
当然
You seem to have this idea that
你似乎总有这种想法
everything can be solved just by
好像一切问题都可以通过
changing the outside circumstances.
改变外部环境来解决
By moving,
通过搬家
going to a new place with the right setting and the right atmosphere.
去一个有着合适预设和良好氛围的新地方
All those stale, middle-aged couples taking a trip together.
就像那些一起旅行的老掉牙的中年夫妇
How can you be so stupid?
你怎么能这么蠢？
We talked back and forth, the usual garbage.
我们谈来谈去 都是些平常的废话
Perhaps it was only borrowing, I can't tell.
也许只是借来的 我不清楚
I thought it was very interesting.
我还以为很有意思
Did you do the things in the city?
你在城里做了那个吗？
Old Donald’s car been up there for a few weeks.
老唐纳德把车放在那里几个星期了
He thinks we ought to come back immediately.
他认为我们应该马上回去
Yeah, well, if I wanted his advice I'd ask him for it.
行了 如果我想听他的意见 我会去问他
Did you see Toler?
你见到托勒了吗?
Yes.
见到了
He's in such a strange way.
他看上去真的很奇怪
Hardly talks to anybody.
几乎不跟任何人说话
He didn't want to see me.
他不想见我
What did he say?
他说了什么？
They're leaving in three days.
说他们三天后就要走了
What do you mean three days?
三天是什么意思？
I thought they were—
我以为他们……
It's all been changed.
全都变了
I think they heard something.
我想他们听到了什么风声
They're afraid of getting picked up.
他们害怕被人发现
We could be going tonight.
我们可以今晚过去
There's not much point to that,
这没什么意义
that kind of hurried, stupid talk over the suitcases.
这种匆匆忙忙 行李箱都没放下的时候说的蠢话
What'll you be doing?
你打算做什么？
Has anybody offered him asylum?
有人给他提供庇护吗？
He doesn't know yet.
他还不知道
Probably going to Canada first.
他可能先去加拿大
And then, I don’t know any other places.
然后 我也不知道有什么别的地方
It doesn't matter where he goes, does it?
他去哪都无所谓了 不是吗？
It's the old pattern.
又是老一套
The exile begins.
流亡开始了
The professional revolutionary hiding in crummy, rented rooms.
专业革命家躲在肮脏的出租房里
Are there any messages for me?
有给我的留言吗？
No.
没有
Nothing.
什么都没有
He did ask how you like in the country.
他倒是问了你在乡下感觉怎么样
He asked that quite a few times.
还问了好几遍呢
Some of the streets of town are still blocked off.
一些镇上的街道还处于封锁状态
Fire have been there and there, still.
有些地方还在发生交火
It's a mess for blocks and blocks.
走到哪都是一团糟
Police from all over the city.
全城的警察都过去了
Toler's been there the whole time.
托勒一直都守在那里
Don't tell me about that shit, you bitch!
别跟我说这些屁话 你个婊子
I'm not going to hear about that anymore!
我再也不想听这些了
Deceptions?
欺骗？
Sure.
当然
You must be tired of my different versions.
你一定厌倦了我那些不同的说法
I was almost allowed to be passionate.
我几乎还能表现出激情
That kind of shit.
什么玩意
The personal salvation.
个人的救赎
Well, it was different.
这不一样
Disgusting.
让人恶心
Contempt for all our attempts.
蔑视我们所有的努力
A shabby dishonesty.
卑鄙的虚伪
You know, if all you have is the mood,
如果你只剩下情绪
a new intensity of emotion,
一种新的情感强度
a way of being involved,
一种参与其中的方式
that's it:
仅此而已
If that's the state of your soul you'll get eaten alive.
如果这就是你灵魂的状态 你会被生吞活剥的
Because when the numbness comes,
因为当麻木来临的时侯
you have nothing to fight it with.
你没有任何可以抵抗的东西
You dissolve.
你就融化了
You back off.
你就退却了
And if you go away for one day,
而如果你逃避了一天
just one day,
就一天
everything you thought you believed in seems unreal.
你信仰的一切都会瓦解
Crazy.
不可思议
You live in a private dream world.
你活在一个独家的幻想世界里面
All around you, people are going to the beach
在你周围 人们去海滩玩
and sitting in the movies
去看电影
and buying clothes.
去买衣服
What can I believe in?
我能信仰什么？
Did I want to change anything?
我曾经想改变什么吗？
Well, maybe.
也许吧
Maybe, maybe.
也许 也许
Maybe I did.
也许我是这么想的
But more.
但是不够
More.
要更多
I wanted to be a part of a new energy that was being released,
我曾经想成为某种正被释放的新能量的一部分
a part of a community that was beginning to live beyond themselves.
一个正要开始超越他们自身处境的群体的一份子
But then you see only dishonesty,
但接着你看到的只有虚伪
the way you've acted and pretended,
你逢场作戏 虚与委蛇的样子
keeping some part of yourself aloof,
你让自己的一部分保持漠然
intact,
保持完好
ready to run back and hide where it's nice and quiet
随时准备跑回去 躲到舒适安逸的地方
I was always calculating,
我总是在精打细算
judging how far to go before the personal change was irreversible,
判断着 离个人不可逆转的改变还有多远
afraid of losing some precious little essence inside me,
害怕失去一些属于我的珍贵本质
My uniqueness!
我的独一无二之处
It's impossible for us.
这对我们来说是不可能的
Always thinking, how do I feel?
总是在想 我是什么感受？
How do I feel?
我是什么感受？
Is this going to be good for me?
这对我有好处吗？
Is this going to be bad for me?
这对我有坏处吗？
Then you're left with a pathetic middle ground
那么你就只剩下一个可悲的中庸立场
Silent, visible.
沉默 引人注目
A spider
一只蜘蛛
crawling around under the glass…
在玻璃下面爬行……
Where have you been?
你去哪儿了？
Sitting.
就坐着
Thinking.
思考
Here, war American planes carried out more than 120 missions
在此 美国战机进行了120多次任务
against bridges, truck convoys, fuel dumps
针对越南北部的桥梁 卡车车队 燃料库
and anti-aircraft sites in North Vietnam.
还有防空基地
One US jet was shot down but the pilot was rescued.
一架美国喷气式飞机被击落 但是飞行员获救了
The plane was the 419th lost in the north.
这架飞机是在北部损失的第419架
Red China said today that…
红色中国今天说……
[ 异见者字幕翻译计划 - 28 ]
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